Keep Your Fingers Crossed Part 2 Blog #9 (Success-in this part)

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What I did with my money should have been my problem, but outside influences always seemed to bombard in. Independency was key. Whatever trouble I should have to face, should be on my own. It was a skill set that extended far above education level, and class line. This was one of the many reasons why I was so mad when I entered the store for the third time. “He” was taking something that was rightfully mine, and could have the potential of a lifetimes work. I peered in before grabbing the metal handle. The darkness outside made it much easier for me to see in…and a lot harder for him to see out. He was reading the numbers in his head. He knew they were the winners of the night. With full force I drove my hand into the door.  I could see he already had started cashing out for the night. 

“Your back,” he exclaimed. 

“My business isn’t done here.” 

He could see the evil look in my eyes. I was waiting for his first move. He had the key to open the door to success. The numbers were indisputable. There was no such thing as cheating in the lottery. Once the numbers were scanned, the statistics were final. His muscles tensed. His jaw was locked. I would make the first move. 

“This can go a lot easier if you just want to turn the Disney Channel machine back on for me.” 

“Like I said sir, we’re getting ready to close for the night.”

“We are getting ready to close for the night? It sure looks like your the only man here if you ask me.”

I made sure to accentuate my words. The realization dawned over the clerk. He knew what he really wanted to do. My back was turned to the man, but I knew he saw my jaw muscles flex into the expression of a slight grin. He started to make his way over in my direction, at least to where I believed I was positioned. For a slight second I directed my eyes to the video camera. The light in the store provided a perfect image back to me on his location. He was as still as the racks holding all the goods in the store. If I did not know any better I might actually have mistook him for one. But I had the upper hand, and he knew he was in the wrong. I kept my cool. The clerk grabbed hold of one of the racks and furiously penetrated it into the tile floor. I stood just as still as he quickly grabbed his things and ran to the back room. I was in here every week, I knew the store just as well as him. I turned in a calmly manner and shouted for him. There was no way out of that back room. He may have believed it was a scapegoat, and a way for me to run out along the backside where he was, just to find it was not an exit. But I knew better now, I knew to stand my grounds. All that could be done was to wait it out. The more time he took…only the more he suffered. I would be successful in getting my ticket because this was the moment of a lifetime I had been waiting for.

I could hear his cries of weakness through the locked door. Empty boxes could also be heard vibrating against one another-this is where he must have been hiding.  He was like one of those cardboard boxes… Full of nothing. He was the color scheme of plain brown, he was going no where. Even though it was a lousy ticket I was trying to get to, I realized it had more significance that I thought did. It was paving the way to the success I would soon encounter. My mind had become fogged, but now was gradually clearing. Keeping my fingers crossed may now have had more importance than ever to what I wanted to do. This ticket would now be giving me a second chance, a way to start over, and giving me even more of a drive to move forward. 

I shook my head, enough of this emotional business for today. I fixed my attention again towards the door.

One last noise… I could hear the cracks as he too began to cross his fingers. 

 

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Keep Your Fingers Crossed Part 1 Blog #8 (Success-look for second part)

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“Keep your fingers crossed,” were the words I lived by every time I went to the local mini-mart. It was a very easy and simple process really, and also a very simple and easy way to lose money. But it was the way I chose to spend my money. You can either spend your money, save your money, invest it, or give it away. I was the best at number one. I pulled up to the mart as usual one friday afternoon right after what I considered to be “payday.” My manager handed me my paycheck, and as usual I asked for it in cash. The clerk handed me my pay in an envelope, I thanked him, and veered off out of the store. The envelope also knew exactly where it would be headed. I promptly headed to my car, and unlocked it midway, in such a manner that I could be in right as I reached it, I had no time to spare. I inserted my key, and with a quick flick of the wrist my car started without delay. I pulled off, happy as a dog, waiting to see if my paycheck would for once not go to waste. I had to limit myself, but today was extra special because it was the last day for drawings of the mega millions. Two minutes was all the time needed to reach this special mini-mart, and it had many more winners than any other gas station around. Pickings were slim I presumed, so I instead went to this filling station.

“Your back,” the clerk exclaimed.

“Not a surprise to you sir…”

“Oh most definitely not. You got here just in time, we’re closing soon. I assume you know the drawings are tonight for-”

“The mega millions,” I shouted. “I know…two for ten please.”

He began to ring up the tickets. I had hoped he would reach for them first, but this action didn’t seem to be in the cards for me tonight. I hoped the odds of winning on the other hand, would be in my favor. I waited impatiently as his ass slowly stepped up to the locked drawer. He soon spun around and handed me what he called, “the winners of the night.”

“I would hope,” I mumbled, while looking down at the cards. I flipped the two babies around, and took them to the scanner just a few steps behind me. With my back turned I scanned the first card and waited for it to calculate the results. Cartoon-looking characters arose onto the screen speaking, “sorry, play again with us next time!” Play again with us next time… The next time I play I will spend 10 more dollars and therefore not be playing anything, but instead still spending all my money. This was not a game to me, as many seemed to make it out to be. This was a trip back and forth, almost the distance from home to work, to get something processed in a machine, I physically could not do myself. It was very irritating to know not a single thing could be done. I decided it was time to move on to card number two. This would be the one. I fully exerted my arm into the machine and waited for it to scan the ticket. I glanced down, but the red lasers were not beaming. I tilted my head up, and in doing so I was greeted with a nice text box reading, “That’s all for tonight folks.” I don’t know what it was about those cartoon characters, but they were playing this stupid game when I was in an emotional state of utter seriousness. I let the card fall and ran out of the store. Another day had been wasted, another paycheck-wasted. I didn’t even know if it was worth it to show my face back in the mart tonight. I struggled to get out of my car for a second time, and slowly protruded back in. The bell rang, and I peered in. The clerk looked up from what seemed to be a drawing, and was surprised to say for a third time, “you’re back.”

If Animals Could Talk Blog #7

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http://www.bear.org/website/images/stories/images/images-new/bear_in_burrow_den_.jpg

I am an animal, I am part of the wild, you cannot keep me in captivity.

The morning sun gazed in on my den, a good 20 feet inside my shelter. The wall surfaces acted as a point of reflection, the rays jumping from one side to the next until it reached of all people…me. Was it morning already? It had been weeks since I stepped foot into this cave, and even now I was too lazy to arise from my hibernating sleep. I sneezed, and in doing so, kicked up a wad of dirt particles. The dust blanketed over my furry head, which caused an even more allergic reaction. My legs were sore from being burrowed up in this position for so long of a time. Not only did my legs hurt, but my shoulder was also still healing from a fall. Hibernation had come at the right time this year, making it possible for me to develop back to normal. I moved my legs back and forth, transferring my weight to my belly. It was that time again-back to the old grind. I leveled my weight onto all fours and slowly forced myself up from the ground. Roots and branches snapped as I arose due to the mass my body took up. I had to be quiet, because Indians were a big predator for us bears. I had to be successful this year, not only for myself, but for my cubs that I soon would be caring for. Indians were especially attracted to females these days who had much more muscle tone, therefore more meat. If not for food, I would be held captive, and looked at as a prize. My eyes skimmed the outskirts of the cave. Not a sign of life could be seen or heard insight. Only the sound of the Susquehanna River which enveloped around my territory. My stomach grumbled…it knew what that meant. Fish! I proceeded with caution out from my hole, making sure to duck from the roots that would grope my figure above. The texture of the soil felt so good on the palms of my feet. I sunk down about an inch with every step. It was a tiring process, but one my legs would need to recover from. I lifted my head, and looked directly for my location so I would not lose focus or time. I reached the Susquehanna when the Sun was highest in the sky, and decided it was time to eat. It would have been a better choice to go about my business at night, so there would be no risk of danger. But I had a strong desire for food and I couldn’t help the time I arose from my sleep. I prowled in the grass for a period of time, while my peripherals saw the ends of each cat tail. It was time. The weight of my body shifted downward as I headed to the river below. The water was moving at a pretty steady pace today; this was a good sign for fish. I blocked the flow of water on one side of the river, and waited patiently for some chow. Small minnows could be seen continuously running in and out of my pool. My patience was being tested, but soon a good-sized salmon swam into my make-shift trap. I cropped the head off, and began eating the fish in peace. My ears could hear my own chomping sounds because I was so loud! I hadn’t eaten a tasty meal in so long… But they could also hear something else.

I directed my attention away from the fish for a quick second and scanned the premise. Bushes could also be heard rumbling. Cattails lost their fur. Branches bent. Footsteps were in the distance. A whole group could have been watching me. Not this time, not me. I dropped my fish, and galloped away as fast as I could. The Indian’s calls echoed behind me. They might have brought guns they acquired from the Americans. I wouldn’t take a second to look, there was no time. Even better-my long fur created a barrier along the side of my eyes like a horse,  so I could only focus on what was ahead of me. “shwoom.” Arrows brushed the top of my fur as they flew past me. My adrenaline upped, and so did my reaction time. I shifted my body one way to the next, hoping to avoid each shot. But by doing this, pressure also increased in my shoulder. My legs had broken free from their state of rest, but my shoulder was still in a state of pain. Why were they still following me, why couldn’t they move to another victim? Their yells vibrated louder on the backs of my ears…Growls almost. Growls?

I not only was running with Indians, but wolves were also chasing the Indians themselves. A wolf knew better than to mess with a bear, but not humans. Wolves would go to any extent. The Indian’s screams were of pain, and soon grew softer. The wolves’ growls masked their voices. Soon all the tribes voices were hushed. I had lived, and most importantly I had succeeded. Whether we were together or not, we animals fought as one.

I am an animal, I am part of the wild, you cannot keep me in captivity.

In My Hole

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“You will speak to no one, your duties will remain constant with ours, we will succeed for the purpose of only ourselves, you are one of us now.”

Past

Several months prior:

A United States soldier is what I had planned to be. A life of earned respect, and teamwork, is what I had hoped to accomplish. The path I had seemed to place myself in did not agree with my personal values. Being a citizen of the country I grew to know so well vanished, due to my actions that arose at school. I had put those in my past, they should not still have been a part of me. I should have been able to leave that life behind. But it was still chasing me like a hungry wild animal chased its dinner… Oh how I had wanted dinner so bad. I hadn’t had a cooked meal for about 6 months, since I had been shipped overseas. Military school was the only choice, except we were the ones put in combat. My fellow peers stood next to me day by day on the front lines of the fields. Rules did not apply like they did back in CT. Nothing was justified, but nothing could be done. King Essiz exercised dictatorial power over us in a country…heck, I couldn’t even correctly pronounce the name of. If you partook in any activity not assigned, you stuck out like a sore thumb.  It was a shitty situation that I had to live with.

Past

6 months prior:

I opened my eyes to the blaring hot sun projecting its hot rays through my tent. This would be the last time camping. We would be moving underground for the authorities to exercise more power, and for us to be even more isolated. We were stripped to our bare belongings, and it took me less than 1 minute to gather all my “tools.” I call them tools because they meant nothing to me. I would use these objects for their purpose, and that was it. Sounds could be heard approximately 100 ft in distance of others packing up their possessions. There was just enough distance between each of us, for our voices to be muffled. Faint echoes were all I had experienced for those last 6 months, and upcoming 7th. I got into place. I was number 5. Eyes followed me because I was the first in line. All I wanted was to succeed here, so I was able to come out of war alive and be transported back across the seas. I thought nothing of their stares, for I had never even heard any of their voices. The rest trekked over, and stood, their backs erect. Bad posture would result in punishment. King Essiz thrusted his arm over his shoulder, and pointed to our next direction. Words again, were not spoken. Silence was golden-seemed to be their motto. I moved forward after the four in front of me had taken their first step. We were off again on our journey, our next point of interest awaiting us. Later, at around 18:00 hours, we had reached our holes.

Present:

“You will rest now, and awake at 06:00 hours. You will NOT, by any circumstances, come out until ordered to. Your duties will remain the same,” were the last words I ever heard Essiz speak, even till this day. Day, or night, I would not know. My new personal safe zone spanned from about the range of 10 m by 10 m in length. Sleep was hard to acquire, with the jagged edges from each rock projecting out of the rocky surface. The sandy bottom would fit to my shape, but it would always make my back tense when I arose. There really was nothing to do down here but wait. If I was actually needed, I would be called.

I could sense echoes. Voices could be heard running from the pebbly surface up to the jagged tips of the cave. “shmump.” People were stepping foot right above my covert. Fragments of stone fell on to my face…something that hadn’t been touched in what felt like forever. Their distant cries moved closer, It was me they were looking for. Figures appeared out of the shadows, their faces-unrecognizable. Each set of eyes aimed down at me and waited for my response.

Search Team: “We have found you, missing person.”

But I did not speak, I was not allowed to.

Search Team: “What is your purpose”

Search team: “…Do you know anything?”

“I know I will speak to no one, my duties will remain constant with yours, and we will succeed for the purpose of only ourselves.”