“I’d like half a pint of Guinness,” each says as they take their seats at the bar.
A group of old friends had decided to go out for a drink together. They had all known each other since birth, and while they all had drastic (if not contradictory) opinions about they way the world worked, they all respected each other, knowing that without each other, they would not exist. Naturally, they avoided the obvious topics, and soon enough their drinks sat in front of them. Two of them immediately smiled and thanked the bartender at the arrival of their drinks, yet the other two sat in shock.
“What terrible luck!” exclaimed the pessimist, “It appears my glass is half-empty!”
“Shame,” replied the optimist, relatively apathetic, “mine was half full.”
Ignoring the paradox, the realist replied as well, “I just got some beer, good enough for me.”
“You don’t seem to understand,” said the pessimist, heat evident in his voice, “my glass was half empty, I asked for half a pint, I got a glass that was half empty.”
“Oh, you think you’ve got it so hard, don’t you,” mocked the abstractionist, “I got a beer full of glasses!”
They all sigh, unhappy with the outcome of this reunion, and all quickly begin to examine the outdoors from the small windows of the pub.
“Would anyone care to join me outside? I feel the fresh air might be nice for all of us,” suggested the optimist, never leaving his role.
“Whatever,” replied the pessimist, standing up.
The realist shrugs and rises as well, going to the door, ignoring the abstractionist’s queries of “Wait, this place has an outside?”
Once outside, they find a table for four and immediately sit down, not looking each other in the eye.
Soon enough, the realist looks out at the landscape, looking closely at the hills.
“Don’t these hills look like white elephants to you?” he asks the group, prompting an immediate reaction from the abstractionist, who cannot help contain a snicker.
“Alright, to hell with it, I knew this would be awful from the start!” the pessimist roars, flipping the table over and storming off.