Sadness in “I’m Not Really Here”

The autobiography “I’m Not Really Here” by Paul Lake, is a book about a professional soccer players life and how and injury prevented him from being what he could have been.
Paul starts the book off with his childhood like any other autobiography. He starts to show the sadness in his life when he gets his irate injury. He was the up and coming player in English soccer, he was destined to be the best player of his generation and maybe even generations to come. He was playing in a game like any other when he swallowed his tongue and nearly died on the field.
He slowly recovered and started to play again about a month later, but there was always a fear in the back of his that something terrible would happen again.
And of course it did. He tore his ACL and was out for a whole year. On his returning game after a year of therapy, he tore it again and 6 months later he tore it one last time.
This forced Paul to retire and then the sadness kicked in. He went from being the golden boy of English soccer to a crippled 25 year old with no income. Things had gotten very bad. Paul became depressed and suicidal, he hit rock bottom.
This kind of sadness must be the hardest because he was riding so high and now was at the lowest of lows. Paul knows what life can be like when it is at it’s best and now he sees it at it’s worst.
This is a kind if sadness that takes years to overcome and a lot of therapy. Paul is now a married man and has a family, but he still occasionally struggles with depression and needs a lot of support to get over it.
This is the kind of sadness that I wish to never experience because it is the hardest to deal with.


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