Sadnees in Losing a Friend

Losing somebody close to me is the hardest thing that I have ever had to deal with. It makes you feel every single emotion that is possible to the human mind and body. But the emotion that takes over your life is Sadness.
The sadness starts with crying and a very open way of expressing it but then it evolves into this sort of inner sadness that is nearly impossible to get rid of. It builds up inside of you and then one day, after many days of letting it build up, it all comes out.
This happened to me last Friday. I was inconsolable, nobody could get me to calm down or listen to a word that they were saying.
Losing a friend is a experience that I don’t wish on anybody but it is not possible to explain the sadness that goes along with losing a friend. I have lost grandparents and it is unbelievably hard to deal with a family member passing away. But losing a friend is a completely different experience.
When my grandparents passed away, it was sadly expected. They were in there 80s and we knew that it was going to happen soon, as bad as that sounds. But when a friend dies, especially as a teenager, it is unexpected and a huge shock. I’m not sure whether the shock factor that makes it so hard or if it is the question of “what could they have been?” Never being answered.
I hope who ever reads this never looses a friend and never has to go through what I have been through twice now. I wish that no other person has to go through what I have been through. I wish that the sadness that I have felt over the last few years, is never felt by anyone again. But the most painful thing is, I know that those wishes will never come true

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