The World’s Luckiest Man!

This is a thoughtchild of mine, a small skit/play written simply out of jest. Enjoy.

The World’s Luckiest Man, MATTHEW, is walking down up the mansion granted to him on accident by the Queen of England after he had just won the lottery. He is flanked by beautiful servants on each side, as well as luscious gardens.

SERVANT: Sir, look above! A meteor headed straight for you!

MATTHEW: What?

MATT looks up only to see a meteor crash down next to him, on top of his SERVANT.

MATT: Oh, what luck! Had she not spotted it, I might just have ceased to be!

Suddenly a DOCTOR shows up.

DOCTOR: Mr. Luck, sir, I have the results in.

MATT: Oh, let me see. What do they say?

DOCTOR: Well, not only are you completely cured of any cancer in your body, it also turns out you are immune to every single bacteria and virus known to man!

MATT: Oh, what good luck, I have! I shall immediately donate my blood to science so that you might make the same for all of mankind!

DOCTOR: Oh, but sir, there is no need, we took all the blood we needed from you earlier!

MATT: Oh, excellent. The two start walking. Walk with me, fair doctor. So, (he turns to face the doctor again) have you ever had one of those days where you just feel especially lucky? As he turns, a bullet and three arrows ricochet past. 

DOCTOR: I’m not quite sure what you mean, sir.

MATT turns back to walk on his way as a dud bomb lands right where he had just been standing.

MATT: I’m not quite sure I understand either, to be honest. I just can’t help but wonder that things have been going my way lately. He looks down as a red dot from a laser appears on his forehead. Oh buggar, my shoe’s come undone. He kneels down to tie it as a gunshot echos, and the shot flies past, killing a large deer that had happened to wander onto the grounds. What was that?

DOCTOR: Oh, nothing sir. Say, what are you going to do about that deer?

MATT: I–

Before he can finish, he is cut off as a team of parachuting butchers flies from the sky, jumping on the corpse, for a few seconds, then leaving behind a stack of perfectly packaged and processed venison as they run off.

MATT: Well, there we go.

MATT snaps his fingers, and a team of servants comes to retrieve the food.

MATT: So, I seem to recall there being mentioned on the Television some sort of catastrophic event was supposed to happen.

DOCTOR: I don’t quite recall sir.

MATT: Huh.

Just as the words leave his mouth, a large explosion sounds in the distance. Suddenly an empty time machine appears in front of MATT.

MATT: Is this a time machine? Quickly, everyone, pile in!

A group of people immediately pile into the time machine.

DOCTOR: A perfect genepool…

The DOCTOR hops in, leaving behind MATT.

MATT: But wait, you forgot– His words are lost in the ensuing chaos.

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2 Comments

  1. Hilarious…clever….the song even fits!
    Original.. well organized
    written in an interesting style and voice; words reflect author’s personality and brings content to life; sentence fluency achieved
    no grammar errors;formatting to help make the post easier to read
    multimedia adds new information or perspective to post; categorized or tagged

    Reply
  1. Frano Selak: ‘world’s luckiest man’ gives away his lottery fortune |

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