Recently I have been thinking a lot about this concept as it was the topic of my college essay. I never realized. After thinking about it for a while, I came to the realization that freedom without responsibility is quite simply, chaos. We see this everyday in life, whether it be a neglected neighborhood, or a neglected house, without someone taking on the responsibilities in these places, they fall into disarray very quickly. Below is a video with which many adults can relate. In the video an Icelandish man talks about the responsibility of debts and loans. He believes that one of the main causes of the financial troubles throughout the world are that people do not take out responsible loans or mortgages. In the United States, we have seen how chaotic debt can get, with national debt going up four trillion dollars in the last four years. If the United States can just get control of how loans are given out, maybe we can erase some of the debt that is piling up.
Freedom Without Responsibility
Posted by smsbaseball30912 on October 27, 2012
https://apecewamogo.wordpress.com/2012/10/27/freedom-without-responsibility/
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teachcmb56
/ October 29, 2012You make some good points, but I am looking for you to further develop your ideas (you only have 180 words!!)…ex: “I came to the realization that freedom without responsibility is quite simply, chaos.” What specifically drew you to this conclusion? How do you get from taking care of your house to the global debt crisis. I should not have to watch the video to listen to a man discuss his ideas…you should enter in a conversation with this vido…what did you like? not like? etc…..
More needed.
teachcmb56
/ October 29, 2012gives some new information on the topic; informational post: has trouble with integrating read or learned information and mostly repeats without construction of new meaning; poorly organized
post has little style or voice; words chosen show an attempt at bringing the content to life; sentence fluency is achieved in few places